4am wake up calls & little chatters behind.

Monday, April 10, 2006

We're already beautiful.

Your April Fever
Ok so Monday isn't the day yet. Things just twist and turn so vigourously. I was supposed to talk to Boris Choy today about Us. But I guess the reason why I wanted to talk to him so bad was just because I didn't know if he cared shit about me. But today he took the initiative to talk to me. And that made everything alright. Because he doesn't really talk to girls, so I know he was trying. And I'm glad that we converesed even if it was one word. It meant something. Things this week are taking a turnabout, although things had always been taking turnabouts. Our curve has many stationary points. I definitely hope its an increasing trend with fluctuations. But I have a feeling this week is going to be slightly better. Mean like, just had that feeling. Like that feeling I felt to return his feeling, when nobody saw anything. Like that feeling I felt today in chinese, its the special feeling that only two people share. It makes you feel hot, makes your heart race, makes everything worthwhile again. I certainly hope tomorrow will be better. Last time in the first intake, I woke up everyday excited to go to school because he'd be there. Even when I skipped school, I'd go back just to see him. Now, I wake up dreading to go to school, simply because I was sick of dealing with the problem. And he was part of the problem. But a part of me still feels happy, because I know for sure he's going to be there. Am I ready? If I'm still afraid to talk to him, am I ready yet? I should take half a step back. Maybe I'm building a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe its natural. But all I know is that I want us to be happy and comfortable. So thats why its worth the wait. All I can hope for now is for us to stay friends or even be friends. We're like strangers now and it'll be alright if we had nothing in the past. But the fact is that we did share an enjoyable past. So thats why I need to talk to him. Just to clear our barrier so we can continue to be friends. So we can take things slowly, and work towards what could be. If we'd pass through this we'd last for long. Many people say that, and I believe in that too. I never knew it would hurt this much, just like I never knew I'd be this faithful to this promise. I'm sorry if I did anything wrong in the past, but. Hey, Boris, one minute you make me feel so good, another you're leaving me out so cold. I'm catching the fever now. I'm catching Your April Fever.

Make this the last stationary point please. The last minimum point, to that too.

& I'm lovin' it
20:44

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