SAMANTHA FOO.
SMURFIE
1T10'06 2T10'07
p
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
mizuage in auction
reluctant maturity
if mature means to watch her loved one walk away when she had the of one in a billion chance to maybe change his mind in leaving . and if mature meant to stay in silent eloquence . and if mature meant to wait till she was mature . then she;d rather not be mature . then she;d rather stick to old time childishness and foolishness . just so she can be with him , through time . less than two years ago when she first set eye on his pitch black hair , his tough yet gentle build , his deeper than the ocean eyes , his smoothing voice that could melt the hardest metal and serenade the biggest cry baby . at that time , to her , he was even less than an ordinary joe next door . he , to her , looked even more unpleasant than the unpleasantest pea . looking at him was like forcing a six year old to eat brocolli . little did she know , he was the one that kept her holding back to every eligible bachelor that came knocking . he then became her rock , her dream , her future . at times , she;d ask herself if she;d really liked him , or just rather stick to him because he was her model husband . she;d even save her first kiss for him . even if she knew he wasnt all that reciprocative of her feelings . for a long while now , she;d hope this feeling was mutual , she dared not ask him or tell him . in fear it may ruin whats left of a fragile friendship . although she knew another her already told him courageously she liked him . she didnt dare . he was friendly to every body . maybe even over friendly . nice he was . and is . a pity though , that they werent together . she always knew , deep down , he haboured the same feeling she for him . she hopes its true . decieve would bring devastation , and high hopes too . so she dared create unnecessary castles in the air , just wanted to stay in a sufficient house on earth . for two years now , and for the record its the longest she;s ever , she dabbled on the possibility that maybe , just maybe , if she;d stay , he;d be moved by her sincerity and give in . every time the amount of like dips , all he has to do is look her in the eye and it shoots again . especially recently in her first orientation , they;d help out . she honestly felt the chemistry , the kind of special bond only that special pair felt , that unique gentle flame that would flare up when contact was made . and she found out only just in time that he;d fly away . to the place of her choice . away for two months . she cracked . and that crack was as big a crack as that one that caused titanic;s death . all she could do was wish him coldly to take care . she knew she;d miss him . she does . and only now she realise she does . the past few days with her new class , she was flirting , with the type she;d never possibly fall for . she thought she falling , but in fact , she just needed a companion . she knew deep down , her materialisic heart would not allow such a tyranny to happen . and yet , that same heart was almost on the road of betrayal . she;s glad her head slapped into her heart and woke her up . now she can only await his return in hope , again , that he;d miss her in return too . and miss her more than he misses the rest . or envy would sip in and jealousy never ceases to take over . oh GOD please , if they were meant for each other , dont hold them back . their time is little . so please , either fast foward to the minute of embrace and hit pause . or extinguish that burning flame in her heart for him and keep her cool .
please GOD , please .
& I'm lovin' it
20:51
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