SAMANTHA FOO.
SMURFIE
1T10'06 2T10'07
p
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
mizuage in auction
reluctant maturity
if mature means to watch her loved one walk away when she had the of one in a billion chance to maybe change his mind in leaving . and if mature meant to stay in silent eloquence . and if mature meant to wait till she was mature . then she;d rather not be mature . then she;d rather stick to old time childishness and foolishness . just so she can be with him , through time . less than two years ago when she first set eye on his pitch black hair , his tough yet gentle build , his deeper than the ocean eyes , his smoothing voice that could melt the hardest metal and serenade the biggest cry baby . at that time , to her , he was even less than an ordinary joe next door . he , to her , looked even more unpleasant than the unpleasantest pea . looking at him was like forcing a six year old to eat brocolli . little did she know , he was the one that kept her holding back to every eligible bachelor that came knocking . he then became her rock , her dream , her future . at times , she;d ask herself if she;d really liked him , or just rather stick to him because he was her model husband . she;d even save her first kiss for him . even if she knew he wasnt all that reciprocative of her feelings . for a long while now , she;d hope this feeling was mutual , she dared not ask him or tell him . in fear it may ruin whats left of a fragile friendship . although she knew another her already told him courageously she liked him . she didnt dare . he was friendly to every body . maybe even over friendly . nice he was . and is . a pity though , that they werent together . she always knew , deep down , he haboured the same feeling she for him . she hopes its true . decieve would bring devastation , and high hopes too . so she dared create unnecessary castles in the air , just wanted to stay in a sufficient house on earth . for two years now , and for the record its the longest she;s ever , she dabbled on the possibility that maybe , just maybe , if she;d stay , he;d be moved by her sincerity and give in . every time the amount of like dips , all he has to do is look her in the eye and it shoots again . especially recently in her first orientation , they;d help out . she honestly felt the chemistry , the kind of special bond only that special pair felt , that unique gentle flame that would flare up when contact was made . and she found out only just in time that he;d fly away . to the place of her choice . away for two months . she cracked . and that crack was as big a crack as that one that caused titanic;s death . all she could do was wish him coldly to take care . she knew she;d miss him . she does . and only now she realise she does . the past few days with her new class , she was flirting , with the type she;d never possibly fall for . she thought she falling , but in fact , she just needed a companion . she knew deep down , her materialisic heart would not allow such a tyranny to happen . and yet , that same heart was almost on the road of betrayal . she;s glad her head slapped into her heart and woke her up . now she can only await his return in hope , again , that he;d miss her in return too . and miss her more than he misses the rest . or envy would sip in and jealousy never ceases to take over . oh GOD please , if they were meant for each other , dont hold them back . their time is little . so please , either fast foward to the minute of embrace and hit pause . or extinguish that burning flame in her heart for him and keep her cool .
please GOD , please .
& I'm lovin' it
20:51
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Friday, January 20, 2006
some kaching
randoms , but not material
guilt > for ignoring and forgetting
disappointment > for pride
regret > for stoning
longing > for return
missing > for abscence
confusion > for the past
decieve > for assuming
disgust > for being touched
hopeless > for uselessness
lonliness > for letting go
despair > for not preserving
anguish > for not letting out
crank > for keeping in
shit > for everything else
randoms , full fledge material
polkadotedd retro heels
polkadotedd retro heels
polkadotedd retro heels
polkadotedd retro heels
polkadotedd retro heels
polkadotedd retro heels
polkadotedd retro heels
money
money
money
money
money
money
money
moneymoney
moneymoneymoneymoney
moneymoneymoneymoneymoney
moneymoney
moneymoneymoney
moneymoneymoney
moneymoneymoneymoney
moneymoneymoney
moneymoney
__________
tango
& I'm lovin' it
20:56
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